Is it normal to resent my baby??

So you’ve done it. You’ve housed and nurtured a tiny little human inside of your body for 9-10 months. You’ve dreamed and prayed that this time would finally come, and now here it is. So why do you feel a disconnect  from your baby? Why don’t you feel how you imagined you would? You love your new baby so much but the sound of them crying at 3 am makes you want to jump on the next train out of town., but why???  In honor of mental health awareness month I want to touch on the topic of postpartum depression.

Let’s look at the definition first off. Postpartum depression is defined as depression suffered by a mother following child birth, typically arising from the combination of hormonal changes, psychological adjustment to motherhood and fatigue. Most people when they think of PPD they think of the worst. It's not always that a mother with this disorder necessarily "hates" her baby. It could be as simple as having a breakdown because an article of clothing no longer fits. For example, when my oldest Landon was born I remember one day I took out an outfit to put on. I tried it on and it didn't fit!!! I cried and cried, and felt like my life was over. I thought "My body is destroyed and it's all because of this baby"!!! Eventually I got over it, and could eventually fit into my old clothes, but for some it isn't so simple or that easy. For some it's is extremely difficult to come to terms with the fact that your body may never be the same, this little baby that you love so much just wont stop crying and you've done everything possible to soothe them, I'm here to let you know It will be ok. It's perfectly fine to admit that you need help, that you feel that you should just automatically know what to do and you don't.

So you're running on fumes basically and baby is just crying and crying, you've fed them, there diaper is clean, you've tried rocking them, pacing the floor with them and they still just wont stop. Walk away!! Put baby down in a safe place and walk into another room for a while. Take a time out and regroup. You can't help the situation while you're on 100.

Ask for help. When you're spouse comes home hand that baby off. Go for a ride, go walk around Walmart, (if any of you see me walking around Walmart at midnight you'll know why) lol. You may feel like now that baby is here you're sole responsibility is to take care of them 24/7, but guess what?? If you don't take care of yourself first mentally you can't take care of that precious baby properly. You may be reading this part wondering "ok I'm a single parent, and don't have help''. If that's the case and you have to have your baby around you all the time, still get out of the house. Grab the diaper bag, the stroller, and head to the park, take a walk around the neighborhood, you'll be surprised how much you and baby will enjoy a different scenery.

There are always other options, then just sitting there feeling hopeless. Your baby needs the best you possible.

People check on your friends and family that just had babies, they may look fine on the outside, but under the surface they may be struggling.

Mental Health Hotline (1-800-662-HELP (4357))

                                                                                               Sincerely Yours,
                                                                                                 Mommy Of Angels

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